Retrospective: The Ghost of New Year’s Resolutions Past.
I)
Cheers, we say –
to the New Year, and
let’s hope it will be better
than the last one,
we say:
No more
burning bridges
crying tears (all in vain, always)
gritting our eyes
with ashes –
ashes everywhere.
No more, we say
as the old year miserably
drowns at the bottom of
our wine glasses –
we don’t even try to save it.
We shoot the New Year
into the stars and say
that’s where we want to be:
Walking through the ashes
collecting our tears in a box
hiding it in a secret corner of the closet
(a secret corner of the heart).
Let’s build new bridges, we say.
II)
But old acquaintances, they forget and
new year’s resolutions hit
the ground just one minute
after midnight, along with
the last of
the fireworks.
Cheers, I say –
to an old acquaintance
that forgot, and I
wonder why (after all)
you
collected the ashes in a box
legs knee-deep in tears
why you
walked right back onto
your last burning bridge
why
III)
Cheers, I say
drinking the old year
from my glass of $3 wine.
Cheers, I say
looking for you
among the stars.
A Confession…
I have a confession to make.
I am a terrible materialist. There, I said it. I really can’t help it.
This realization didn’t actually strike me when all the glossy ads for toys, perfumes, jewelry and other fancy whatnots started popping up all over the place. Honestly, they don’t appeal to me at all – besides: I can never tell just what product is advertised by several semi-naked people giving me a possibly sexy/mysterious/earnest look. (You tell me. Please?) It wasn’t the beginning of the holiday season that got me. It was the beginning of a season, though – winter.
Here’s what happened: I’ve been digging up favorite scarves and sweaters from the depths of my closet (since it’s winter officially – whatever objections the actual weather might have to the meteorology here). Rummaging through all the wool and the occasional tassel, I found myself having sentimental feelings for the one or other… piece of clothing.
Okay. Possibly, it started even earlier than this: My favorite pair of jeans has been showing (severe) signs of weakness around the knees – which in turn has triggered me displaying severe signs of distress all in all. I hate parting with my favorite pair of jeans because first, I hate jeans shopping. I never find a pair that fits when I’m really in need of one – because semi-naked is never an option for me (I never advertise for anything anyway). Second, I grow sisterhood-of-the-traveling-pants-attached to my jeans. That is SUPER-attached. I wear them until they – quite literally – fall apart. Which is always somewhat awkward when the falling apart happens in public, but oh well: we all get our 15 minutes of fame, right Andy?
But back to the wool and tassels: I don’t have sentimental feelings for each piece of clothing I own. I don’t name them (yet). It’s that some pieces remind me of a person. Or of the place I got them at. Or the time when I bought them. (They’re little time-machines.) It’s that wearing that one sweater, that one scarf or my favorite jeans is like flipping through the pages of a diary. Which, for me, is awfully convenient because I’m terribly inconsistent when it comes to actually writing a diary. (This blog is probably the closest I have ever gotten and will ever get to it.)
So strictly speaking, I’m a memorabiliaist. Or possibly a mnemonicist. There, I said it. I still can’t help it.
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