From Theory to Reality – a Short Round Trip.

It all seems so simple. It’s important to pursue one’s passion. To pursue happiness, essentially. Anything else will make you – to say the least – unhappy at the end of the day. That’s in theory.

I hate theory land. Whenever I stop by for a visit, I end up feeling like a big, big (we’re talking giant-size) fool. Because in theory land, things are always so clear: you shouldn’t like a person that doesn’t seem to care because you will only get hurt; you shouldn’t jump off a swing at that moment when you’re so high you feel like you could touch the sky because the fall gets you down to earth faster than you could ever imagine; you shouldn’t have that second (third, fourth…) candy bar because you will be very, very sick after. Theory land should be wiped off the map – I think, I will personally draw it on a map (roughly somewhere north, north, north of Alaska possibly) just so I can wipe it off again. At least, I will leave theory land for now.

Let’s take a look at reality land instead. In reality land, things look a bit different. They are more complicated. In reality land, thing’s aren’t either black or white; they come in all different (often very odd) shades of gray: you like a person that doesn’t seem to care because maybe things might eventually change; you jump off a swing at that moment when you’re so high because maybe you’ll be able to just fly away; you have that – insert respective number here – candy bar because there’s too much deliciousness happening to simply stop. Also, in reality land, there are little things hiding in the the thicket; things besides just this one passion – like paying rent and buying groceries, for example. And they make a point of being equally important and responsible for your/my/everyone’s happiness. They’re the little reasons that keep a lot of people from pursuing their passion.

In a nutshell: a regular income has its appeal too. I’m certainly a fan. I applaud it. If there was any, I would even buy the official merchandise for it – because my lovely little income allows me to do so.

That’s why right now, I feel uncomfortably torn apart. In front of me, there are “Two roads diverg[ing] into a yellow wood” as Mr. Frost would say, and yes, I’m really sorry that it seems I cannot travel both.

that’s exactly how i remember the poem to look like in my English textbook in school

I have to make a decision – one I already should have made some time ago, probably; one I have avoided, always trying to find some middle ground, always trying to keep the balance; always being neither here nor there. This is not a state anyone should or is even able to be in for too long. It’s exhausting, and, it’s, of course, just a matter of time until you fall, or at least, stumble. Stumble I did. I certainly don’t want to fall. I know what I’m passionate about. I just wonder if this is the place and time to let my passion lead the way. Maybe I’m too impatient. Maybe I should be sensible (but what does that even mean?) — all of these maybes, pros and cons, again the search for a middle ground, balance.

Mr. Frost, Robert, Rob – am I allowed to say that? Yeah, sure, why not. Rob it is – what made you decide? Your inner voice? A dream? A friend’s advice perhaps? Oh, I see. Well, that works, I suppose. So, you flipped a coin. Maybe that’s what I’ll do then.

2 responses

  1. What’s the matter, sweetheart? Want to talk? Under different circumstances, I’d just meet you at the usual place, buy us a heap of vegan chocolate bars and two bottles of Club Mate, and let you pour your heart out… But since that’s kind of not possible right now, we’ll have to resort to Facebook & Co, I’m afraid. Love ya!

  2. I love reading through a post that can make
    men and women think. Also, thanks for permitting me to comment!

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I'm Michelle. This is my blog. I write about women and fatness, expound upon semi-coherent thoughts I have in the middle of the night, and offer tough love to those in whom I am disappointed; they are legion.

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