Tag Archives: hope

Daisy Petals – I’m out (maybe).

daisy petal picking – yes, no, maybe? (photo by Sami Sarkis)

Live and Learn

People say that little children have to learn how to talk while they are still so little – if they don’t, they might never be able to learn it at all. They will grow from quiet little children to quiet not so little adults. All the sounds they could have made, the words they could said, the inspiring speeches they could have given, all will be lost in the nirvana of the million and one things people never said but should have.

Then again, people say a lot (maybe silence is really golden).

It’s over

Remember that one time: your mom got you this really pretty dress/cool shirt/insert whatever clothing item comes to mind. You thought it was great (because it was) and you wanted to wear it, all – the – time. But, of course, you weren’t allowed to. It was too pretty/cool/whatever. So you only wore it on special occasions (if you wore it at all) and then one day, on one of these special occasions (maybe Christmas, maybe some distant relative’s 75th birthday) you wanted to put it on – but it didn’t fit anymore. You’d grown out of it.

Then again, it might not have been so special if you would have worn it all the time (no, that’s bullsh**, it really was special, no matter what).

Live and Learn: it’s over

It’s never good to neglect something (a skill, an item, a person). Here’s what you’re going to get back: anger (if you’re lucky), or nothing at all (most likely). Something/someone only wants to play, be your friend, be with you – but you won’t let it and after a while it’s too much. It leaves you alone (it needs to let go) – play with yourself, stupid – screaming the f-word – I’m out.

It’s over.

It’s over.

Missed Chances

I’m rollercoasterred, i’m feverish, like August. I will only let you in if you have a golden ticket. Don’t ask me when or where to get it. I don’t know. And even if I knew, I wouldn’t tell you because you know what? This is supposed to be special, it’s supposed to be a challenge and you have to deserve it. This is not unconditional, not from the start (not anymore) – Try it or play with yourself, stupid – fuck – I’m out.

Is it really over?

Live and Learn

What about trust?

Live and Learn: it’s over

Hope grows on clouds and if it wants to come down, it needs to rain. That’s its way to travel, it is a rule.

(Then again, that’s bullsh**, why doesn’t it just rain hope? Let it rain hope).

Chances

Generations and generations of girls (and guys who won’t admit it) have picked daisy petals and so am I. I’m not the one to break with traditions. I need something to hold on to when my inner voice and God aren’t responding. It’s not even spring, there aren’t any daisies anywhere. But it’s time for a break. It’s fall and the leaves are changing colors. I’m picking leaves off tree branches. I don’t know what else to do. I’m struggling to talk (silence isn’t golden, it simply shimmers when the light hits its surface on the right spot, just like tin foil or gum wrapper). Nothing fits anymore, everything that used to be so special sits in the trash (and needs to become less special, but that’s bullsh**, and I know it won’t). Play with yourself, stupid – fuck – I’m out (I’m not, maybe). What are the my chances?

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Little things.

~ random thoughts on a quiet summer night.

Somewhere on the ocean.

Some days are hard to get through. Usually, there are many reasons why (and sometimes, it seems there is no reason at all; maybe because, sometimes, all these reasons bleed together and become something bigger; something not quite tangible – like fog):

  1. A great book turned into an awful movie.

  2. Losing something.

  3. A word spoken without care.

  4. Missing something.

  5. The break-up of a good band.

  6. Losing someone.

  7. A starless sky.

  8. Missing someone.

However, even during these days, these heavy ones, these seemingly never-ending ones, there are little things that make them worthwhile. Things that ask you to pause, to take a deep breath; that make you realize that in the midst of the struggle, there’s also beauty (little flickers of happiness; hope):

  1. The sunset.

  2. That after-rain smell.

  3. A good song.

  4. The sound of steps in the snow.

  5. A good book.

  6. A hot cup of coffee.

  7. A good conversation.

  8. The sunrise.

PS:

Retrospective: The Ghost of New Year’s Resolutions Past.

I)

Cheers, we say –

to the New Year, and

let’s hope it will be better

than the last one,

we say:

 

No more

burning bridges

crying tears (all in vain, always)

gritting our eyes

with ashes –

ashes everywhere.

 

No more, we say

as the old year miserably

drowns at the bottom of

our wine glasses –

we don’t even try to save it.

 

We shoot the New Year

into the stars and say

that’s where we want to be:

Walking through the ashes

collecting our tears in a box

hiding it in a secret corner of the closet

(a secret corner of the heart).

 

Let’s build new bridges, we say.

 

II)

But old acquaintances, they forget and

new year’s resolutions hit

the ground just one minute

after midnight, along with

the last of

the fireworks.

 

Cheers, I say –

to an old acquaintance

that forgot, and I

wonder why (after all)

 

you

 

collected the ashes in a box

legs knee-deep in tears

 

why you

 

walked right back onto

your last burning bridge

 

why

 

III)

Cheers, I say

drinking the old year

from my glass of $3 wine.

 

Cheers, I say

looking for you

among the stars.

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I'm Michelle. This is my blog. I write about women and fatness, expound upon semi-coherent thoughts I have in the middle of the night, and offer tough love to those in whom I am disappointed; they are legion.